


while the rain water washes away who we are

by Skyson



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Easter Eggs, F/M, Rescue, Road Trip, Song Inspired, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyson/pseuds/Skyson
Summary: "Bow and Arrow", Reuben and The Dark





	while the rain water washes away who we are

> _Won't you hold my hands (over my heart)?  
>  We go over the mountains, under the stars  
>  _

**———  
**

 

It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen quickly, but she eventually found him.

He didn’t believe it, at first. He’d hallucinated enough times in the past that he wrote this off as another one, and mentally noted to mention it in his evening report to the computers tonight. He’d hallucinated often, but it hadn’t happened recently. He thought he’d gotten over that part.

It was lonely, after all, on a ship that so clearly wasn’t designed with humans in mind. A ship that didn’t have any other humans on it. A ship that didn’t have any other _living thing_  on it. Sometimes, hallucinations were easier to talk to than high-tech computer systems from another galaxy.

So, when he first saw Daisy, he ignored her. She seemed so surprised by his presence, though, that he hesitated.

And then she’d breathed one word, and suddenly he was running toward her, running faster than he ever did during his morning exercises, running in case she suddenly disappeared in front of him again.

“Coulson.”

She didn’t disappear - in fact, she wrapped her arms securely around his back so that he wouldn’t pull away too quickly. Not that he was planning on it - now that he was touching her, feeling her, hearing her breathe and her heartbeat - there was no way he would ever let go.  
  


**———**

 

He’s changed, yet again. Feels that same sense of difference - of _otherness_  - that he couldn’t shake after his death and subsequent resurrection. Though, this time the changes were his own - still, it’s not like he chose to be stuck in space for months on end. He just had to make do with the cards he’d been dealt.

Daisy told him that they could go home, and he stared at her. Home? It was a vague concept to him, now. Earth? So small compared to all this. He showed her around the ship, introduced her to the computer systems, took her to his favourite window with his favourite view. She entertained him, but he could tell that she was worried for him, worried about the conditions he’d been in. Really, once he’d gotten used to it all, it wasn’t so bad.

In truth, he was scared to return to Earth. He feels like he no longer belongs there; he’s gotten used to this dreadful spaceship.  
  


**———**

 

He says goodbye to the ship’s computers, his only companions over these months (maybe it’s been a year? He’d stopped keeping track.) He was grateful that none of them turned out to be the HAL type, though he had jokingly called one of them HAL - the ship’s “medic”. That one had always wanted every detail of Coulson’s physical health. (Coulson knew that they were studying him; that whichever species they belonged to might not have encountered a human before. That he might very well have been a glorified science project.)

They, and the ship, would stay at these coordinates. Daisy had managed to dock with a ship of her own, and she would take Coulson with her in that.

Coulson had never seen anything like it; had a feeling that it wasn’t originally from Earth. Daisy confirmed his theory.

“I made some new friends during my hunt for you,” She told him, deciding not to give him too many details all at once. She didn’t want to overwhelm him.

“You came alone.” He observed, more worried for her well-being than for the idea that maybe no one else had cared enough.

“Yes,” She admitted, grimacing as she imagined what Talbot’s face would look like once she returned. Him and May both, surely. “I disobeyed orders.” Coulson raised his eyebrow, and it was almost familiar. “A lot of orders.” She amended, and he nodded as if that pleased him. He didn’t smile, though; and it wasn’t for lack of emotion. She had a feeling that he just wasn’t used to visually expressing emotion anymore - it hadn’t been necessary for the computers.

He would smile, again, in just a couple weeks in fact; a broken thing that wavered slightly but made his eyes light up and made her cry once she found some time to herself so she could hide her tears from him.  
  


**———**

 

The trip back to Earth was a relatively quick one - it had taken her so long to find him because she’d not known where to look, exactly. Not at first. There were a lot of hit and misses, before she rather stumbled upon his ship floating in the middle of an asteroid belt.

To his surprise, when he woke up from his sleep pod, it was to find that they’d landed in the middle of a forest somewhere. Daisy confirmed that they were in the Canadian wilderness, actually not far from the old SHIELD base, because she’d borrowed the ship and the guy who owned it was a bit of a rebel as well.

“Is SHIELD after him?” Coulson asked warily, bundling up for the weather outside. He admittedly struggled with some of the articles of clothing, simply unused to using so many layers. (The space suit that had been provided for him on the ship was something of alien design - nothing like the big bulky things NASA uses.)

Daisy helped him dress quietly and efficiently, managing to keep him from feeling like a child, and nodded in response to his question.

“Everyone is after him, I think. That’s what happens when you work with ravagers for most of your life.”

“Work with who?”

She didn’t go any further into it, though. Instead she procured a rugged four-wheeler from a nearby lodge and drove them to the nearest town, Coulson holding on tightly against her back.

The wind rushing against his face was disorienting, and he had to hide his face against her shoulder. At least the ship and it’s computers had been able to sufficiently replicate Earth gravity, so he didn’t struggle so much returning to the atmosphere. Other than with the wind, anyway.

He had no idea how she had planned this, no idea how long she’d been gone from Earth while she’d been searching for him, but, they eventually drove right up to an old garage behind what looked to be an even older house - and there was Lola.

Shinier than ever, not a scratch on her, and his fingers itched as he ripped off his gloves so he could press his palms against the hood.

His breath shook, and he was a little embarrassed to find himself so emotional, but Daisy just smiled, as if she understood completely. She busied herself checking her pack and rifling through the big freezer in the back of the shed while Coulson familiarized himself with his car.

He sat in the passenger seat while she drove, but he didn’t mind. He felt that he hadn’t smiled in a long, long time, but he couldn’t keep one off of his face now. Daisy seemed pleased by it, anyhow, though she was uncharacteristically quiet.  
  


**———**

 

They didn’t head right back to base - in fact, Coulson wasn’t sure that Daisy ever checked in with anybody once they had their feet on the ground again.

Instead, Daisy drove him in Lola all over the continental United States, neither asking him for a road trip or offering one up. She just drove, and he gazed out the windows. He knew what she was doing - she was reminding him of Earth. Of all the things that made it so wonderful, and (in her hopes) things that would make him feel more at home.

They spend a night in the forests of Maine, by a large, still lake. It reminds him of The Retreat, a little, except it’s peaceful here. There are no accompanying bad memories lingering around the shores of the water or the edges of the tree line.

They spend some time in Virginia and North Carolina, taking day hikes along the Blue Ridge Mountains, searching for waterfalls. They drive further southeast, and walk the Carolina beaches. He takes his shoes off so that he can feel the sand between his toes. He doesn’t think of Tahiti at all.

They go for a day walk in New Orleans, eating sugary beignets that he’ll probably regret later, and observe street artists as they listen to a local trumpet player croon from across the street. They spend a long evening at a blues bar in Memphis, but he sticks with water, because his stomach is still pretty sensitive and he doesn’t want to try alcohol in his system just yet. They stroll through wheat fields in Kansas while watching the sun set, and he brushes his hands over the soft tops, watching them sway in the wind. Daisy’s hair sways in the wind, too, but he doesn’t touch it. (He thinks about it, though.)

On a thankfully clear night, she flies Lola along the mountains in Colorado, both of them breathless by the sight of the awesome rising peaks, surrounded by thousands and thousands of stars. Coulson spends a lot of this night looking up, though it is obvious he is still appreciative of the mountains below. But he wants to share with her some of the constellations that they can see; patterns of stars that humans on Earth don’t know about. She’s rather awestruck, too. As scary and lonely as space was at times, it was also incredible and beautiful.

They have fun with the pure white sand in New Mexico; goofing off with a group of teenagers who kindly share some of their dune sledding equipment. Neither of them have done this before but neither of them care; encouraged by the carefree spirit of their new acquaintances, they just let loose for a few hours. The sand is soft and warm, even more-so than the sand on the east coast, and when he digs his hand down deep enough, it becomes cold. So unused to real sunlight, he gets burned, even with religious application of powerful sunscreen. He doesn’t mind, though. He used to think he’d never get sunburned again; and isn’t that an odd thing to miss? Daisy doesn’t burn, but she does tan enough to remind him of her mother’s heritage, and she has a smattering of freckles across the curve of her shoulders, now. Coulson wants to map them out, like he had the sky, but he doesn’t.

Their trip gets cut short, here, though - fate has it that Talbot is at Holloman Air Force Base, and catches wind of a peculiar 1960’s era Corvette in the area. He calls Daisy enough times in a row that she can no longer ignore her phone, and he demands to know why she returned to Earth and hadn’t let anyone know. He wants to know how she returned so quickly (she admits to Coulson now that it took her two months of searching, which was a heck of a lot shorter than they’d expected it to take). Talbot wants to know if she has Coulson with her. She confirms, and Talbot orders them to return to HQ. He’s kind about it, at least, which appeases Daisy even though she wants to keep Coulson all to herself for a little while longer. Talbot mentions that he wishes Coulson had acclimated himself within a controlled science facility somewhere, but he doesn’t reprimand her as much as she excepted he would. She wonders if perhaps he understood more than he let on.

Coulson is ready, now, though. He still feels different, but not like he no longer belongs. He wants to make one more stop before heading back to HQ, though, and Daisy dutifully takes him there - to his family plot in a small cemetery in Wisconsin. He leaves flowers at his mother’s marker, and crouches at his father’s to rest his hand on the stone, lingering there for a while. Daisy gives him some space, and meanders back to the car. She leans against it as she waits for him, and notices him pull something carefully from his pocket and leave it tucked close against his father’s grave - no one would probably be able to notice the trinket if they weren't looking for it. It seemed to be some kind of stone, and Daisy realized it was something from when he was out there, in space. She's desperately curious, but doesn't ask.

They spend the night in a motel and fly Lola to base the next morning. As they cleaned up the room before leaving, Coulson told her,

“He always dreamt of space, my dad. He bought me my first telescope, taught me how to search out constellations and figure the location of planets. He always knew that we weren't alone in the universe, and I don't know whether that's just because he was a dreamer, or if…he had first hand knowledge.” He shrugged a little. “I figured if he couldn't make it out to space, I could bring a little space back for him.” Daisy hugs him, and he returns the gesture easily.

The drive back East is somber but not uncomfortable. Jemma meets them in the garage (they're in a new base, now, and Coulson is completely unfamiliar and lost) and quickly ushers them to the med bay. He's been in the States for long enough now that she's not sure she'll be able to get any data from his vitals, and she doubts that he’ll have any lingering health concerns since he hasn’t had too many problems so far, but she wants an official examination nonetheless.

Agents in the hallway stare, knowing of him, but most of them are all new since his absence and have never seen him face to face before. None of them approach. He and Daisy run into no familiar faces, other than Jemma. Coulson unobjectionably allows her a complete examination, which as a doctor is necessary, but she is surprised that he is so blasé about being naked in front of her. He used to barely tolerate taking his t-shirt off. (Daisy, of course, gives them privacy during this part, though she stands right outside the door).

Daisy asks Coulson if he’s up for meeting the others in the team now, or waiting, and he is nervous but he figures he should just get it over with. They are probably all anxious to see him again, anyway.

Jemma had given him a pair of SHIELD issue sweats to change into; they were warm and soft and smelled vaguely familiar - they smelled like home, but he had almost forgotten what that smelled like. Daisy didn’t worry about teaching him the layout of the new base; nothing beyond,

“Take a left down the hall to head toward the gym, locker room, range, and other storage rooms. Down this way is everything else - personal quarters, community rooms, the Director’s office…” She trailed off, but didn’t look at him. He hasn’t yet asked who was acting Director, and he didn’t really want to think about it at the moment. “We’re working on fixing up more areas for other offices, proper holding rooms for the pods, good ol’ jail cells for the humans we may or may not have to incarcerate…”

It was nice to hear that SHIELD has been growing once again from the ashes.

Daisy had messaged and called people while Coulson was getting his examination done, doing her best to urge them all to keep this quiet and simple. She was pleased to find that they had heeded her requests - upon entering the lounge, the old team was milled about the room comfortably, as if they’d just walked in on a normal moment. As if they hadn’t been waiting anxiously for Daisy and Coulson’s return.

Eight of what were possibly his closest friends stood and sat there in front of him. The missing faces were made all the more obvious and it was a punch in the gut, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved to see those who were here. Daisy touched his back encouragingly, but then she stepped away to allow him space, both for himself and for someone to feel like it was okay to approach him. Jemma, having already seen the both of them, simply offered them both a wide and happy smile. Mack hugged Daisy tightly, telling her how worried he’d been, how pissed he was for what she’d done, but also grateful beyond any words that she’d brought back Coulson.

Quickly moving through her own reunions (she had only been gone for a couple of months, after all - nothing compared to Coulson’s time away), Daisy grabbed a beer from the fridge and leaned against the counter, and observed. Fitz hugged Coulson for the longest, which surprised Daisy on some level. Mack shook his hand, holding it between both of his own for a long moment, expressing his emotion quietly. Coulson nodded at him, seeming to understand, and that was that, at least for now. Daisy was sure that they would talk more later; she was proud to know how close they had grown while they’d been partners. Elena hugged Coulson, saying something in Spanish so quickly that he couldn’t quite follow, but her eyes were tearing up and she quickly ducked into Mack’s embrace before she got too emotional.

They were all worried about emotionally over-stimulating Coulson, and that much was obvious in the careful but relieved manner they were treating him, and for that Daisy was grateful. (She was feeling rather fiercely protective over him, even here surrounded by friends. She figured that was just some kind of ‘hero complex’ though, since she was the one to find him in that practically barren ship out in the middle of nowhere.)

Agents Piper and Davis were there, to Coulson’s surprise and relief. He wasn’t sure if they had made it after… well, everything. They seemed mildly uncomfortable, since they hadn’t been close enough to him before to warrant a hug now, but they both smiled and offered their own relief at seeing him alive and well.

May was possibly as emotional as Daisy has ever seen her; she hugged her oldest friend fiercely, her lips pressed together tightly as she willed herself not to cry with relief. Coulson returned the hug, visibly sagging against her, no doubt exhausted by everything that’s happened over the last few days. Eventually, he stepped back, and they shared a look that Daisy didn’t understand, but May nodded afterward and she squeezed his shoulder, and then she stepped back to her previous spot and picked up her glass of whiskey. She looked over at Daisy again, and raised her glass in a small salute before she took a drink. Daisy nodded in acknowledgement, a bit uncomfortable with praise for something she felt was without question. But it was also a thanks for bringing back one of her loved ones, and Daisy understood that well. They had all lost so many people over just a few years - it was better than nice to have this one win.

Later, after everyone shuffles off to bed, Daisy pulls Coulson outside to the roof, where there is little light pollution from the nearby city and they can see the stars. It’s not as many as Colorado, and of course nothing close to what they saw outside of the space ship, but it’s still fairly beautiful. It begins to sprinkle rain lightly, but he doesn’t seem to mind - it’s a warm summer rain, anyhow.

Coulson gives Daisy a stone now, too; it’s roughly the size of her thumb, carefully secured to a necklace pendant though it is apparent that he put it together with whatever he could find on the spaceship. It’s not quite smooth, which tells her that he probably found the stone, instead of buying it (from whom, she didn’t know - a space general store?) It was fascinating, and the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen - it is deep orange, and glows slightly from within, almost as if it’s alive.

When he gives her this stone, he tells her that she is in his heart, in his soul, she was what kept him going through all that time alone in a non-human spaceship with only weird technology and computers aboard. It begins to rain harder, and knowing that she would have to shout to be heard over the raindrops, she instead reaches for him and pulls him close, pressing her forehead against his own.

Too overwhelmed to form words anyway, she stands like that for a long while, and he leans into it as well, his eyes closed, his face tilted so that his nose is almost brushing against hers. Water streams in rivulets down their faces, between them, soaking their hair and dripping off their chins. Daisy doesn’t care in the slightest, and he doesn’t seem to either.

“I almost forgot what the rain felt like,” Coulson laughs a little, like he knew how ridiculous that would sound to someone listening in. He tilts his head back, turning his face upward toward the sky, letting the warm rain hit his skin.

Daisy watches him unashamedly; standing this close to him, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body, tell the way his breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed as the rain washed over him. She notices how stubble was beginning to grow on his jaw, and how the corners of his mouth were curved upward, ever so slightly.

His fingers brush against hers, making her flinch a little because he didn’t otherwise move. She gently threaded her fingers through his, though, until they were outright holding hands, palm pressed against palm. He kept his face turned upward, but he squeezed her hand firmly.

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face.

“Phil,” She managed, barely a whisper, though he heard her anyway. He lowers his chin to face her again, a small smile on his face.

“I know.” He replies almost as quietly, meeting her unwavering gaze with one of his own. His eyes almost seem to reflect the stars that have since been blocked by rain clouds. She was enthralled, speechless, desperate - but she didn’t want this frozen moment to end. So she doesn’t kiss him, like she might have done under this kind of situation in earlier years.

Their shoes squeaked and sloshed as they walked to her quarters, dripping water all over the floor in the halls, hands still pressed tightly together, neither caring an ounce about how the other agents might be looking at them.

Coulson didn’t exactly have his own quarters set up to be livable, yet, so Daisy had set up an extra cot in her room. She finally released his hand to slip into her bathroom and grab a couple of towels, and she felt the absence immediately. But he was standing there waiting for her when she returned, and when she handed him his towel, he grabbed her entire hand, pulling her against his chest.

And he kissed her.

And she kissed him.

And it was every mountain, waterfall, stream, field of wheat, note of music, taste of beignets - it was all of those planets and stars that she had to pass to find him. It was the moment she found him. It was the moment he’d reached for her, as if he hadn’t given up, as if he’d been waiting for her all along.

It was all of that, and infinitely more.

“You taste like rain,” He laughed, kissing her more.

No - _this_  is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Hell - seen, heard, tasted, felt….

“Marry me.” She blurted. It sounded more like an order than anything else.

He gently stopped kissing her, leaning back just enough so he could look her in the eyes. She was just as surprised by her outburst as he, but she wasn’t going to retract it. He touched his fingers against her cheek, softly stroking her skin, before kissing her again, even more reverently this time.

“Yes,” he murmured against her lips, “yes.”

Layer by layer, they peeled off their wet clothes, their lips never apart for long. Although they hadn’t seen one another in months, although they’ve never done this before, although they hadn’t been romantic before he was shipped off into space; they moved slowly, leisurely. They both lost all track of time, eventually falling into her bed, the extra cot abandoned completely.

They fall asleep in the blue dawn of the rising sun, Daisy curled against Coulson’s back, her arms around his chest as he holds her hands tucked within his own, resting against his chest.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> _"Bow and Arrow", Reuben and The Dark_


End file.
